Something Tells Me I’m into Something Good

Posted: September 19, 2012 in Uncategorized

Life is a little crazy right now. There is so much going on in the Hudgins household. About five weeks ago, I lost my job at GSI Commerce. Around that same time, my mother-in-law was admitted to the intensive care unit at a hospital in South Dakota. Because of these two central events, our lives have been a virtual whirlwind for the last month. This new season has proven to be challenging, rewarding, stretching and truly exhausting. I find myself feeling overwhelmed emotionally, mentally and physically at times these days.

Yesterday, Charlotte, Joshua and I were returning home from our most recent excursion to Sioux Falls. During the first hour or so of the trip, I felt really, really heavy. There were multiple reasons for this. Obviously, Charlotte’s mom’s health situation is heavy in and of itself. However, I was also thinking through some relational struggles I am walking through, my job (or lack thereof) situation and several other generally heavy subjects as well. However, through all of that “feeling,” I found myself longing for something that I don’t think is coming: a return to normality.

I was longing for a return to the rhythm of life that I had come to know and enjoy over the last several years. That rhythm centered much on the schedule I had with my job and the dependability of the paycheck that came with it. Neither of those exists now. And, I have a sneaking suspicion that, when a new job comes onto the scene, things are going to look significantly different than what I had before. I think my Father has something new in mind, something that will involve creative living and require complete dependence on Him.

Ultimately, what I think I was feeling yesterday was the tension between what I knew, what is now and what is coming. I think I am almost done grieving what was. I am learning to live in God’s flow of life in the now while allowing Him to realign priorities. I am waiting in full expectant anticipation for what He has in store. 

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